That Sammie Girl Says What?!

Plans for the month of June. Any takers? Haha. Kidding.

Well one friend just reconnected with me, one will once the sad chaos is over, now to see when everyone else comes around.

Don’t forget to remember me

This week has been really off for my friendships and relationship. One person tells me I’m a horrible friend, another seems to be distancing themselves from me, another won’t answer any of my texts. And then me and my boyfriend have been bickering all week because I’ve been so stressed about said friendships. He doesn’t get why I let people get to me but these are my friends.

But I’ve felt very alone lately. It’s very hard. A majority of my time is spent with a 2 year old and a 5 year old. I just wanna go out and have fun. I can’t wait for tomorrow night. Thank god my boyfriend doesn’t get all that sick of me

Always the one to remember, but never the one remembered.

Australia is looking better and better every day.

Lately, I talk to my uncle’s friends (who are my friends technically) over my own friends. What is going on?

Feeling really down tonight. The worst I’ve felt in a while. I feel like things are falling apart. Today’s just been a bad day.

I hate not having a life. I don’t have many friends, I lost a few because I couldn’t trust them. That was my own choice, and probably a good one. But here’s what sucks. I’m way too like in the middle of what people like to hang out with. I don’t party, I don’t drink and I don’t smoke and I think drugs are wicked dumb. So many people here are too into that. They respect me enough not to do it around me, but that means I’m not included in most plans. And if I’m not enough of a party person, then I’m not good enough. I’m tainted because I’m not a virgin (get over it). But that makes some people look at me differently. And since I’m not looking for a new man (since I have one) people find me boring.

I love to have fun, I’d love to get out of my house once in a while. It hurts me that people are so judgmental. I know I’m not the easiest person but god damn. Yes my RSD and POTS complicates things, but I’m still a person. I want to feel normal. But maybe I’m just supposed to stick with my boyfriend and one of the friends that doesn’t care about any of my life choices. Apparently I’m as good as dead to others.

Thanks.

I can totally spell anniversary. My tag was a typo :)

Five years ago today I finally agreed to date Aaron. I figured it would only last 2 weeks since we were only 14. Now I am 19 and he is very close to 20, and we are stronger than we ever have been.

I remember the exact day I said yes. It was my super delayed birthday party since I had just gotten over my first RSD incident. He had asked me out around my actual birthday and it took me a month to respond since I was so nervous. I had a friend call him to give my answer, as the 7 girls huddled around her all giggling and cheering. I ended up slapping one of them for saying I had a boyfriend because I didn’t want to tell my parents yet. When Aaron answered the phone he had been sleeping, but he was in complete shock. I was in shock myself. I had said yes to this blue mohawk haired kid that wore Tripp pants and was a juggalo. What had I been thinking.

We’ve had our ups and downs through the years. But there’s clearly been more ups.

Every day I am so happy I gave him a chance. It was definitely worth it.